"Nice Dream" and "Rome"

I have been thinking about how to describe my feelings for Rome after 3 (or is it 4?) days. While contemplating, I can't help but dwell on two songs I am very fond of - "Nice Dream" by Radiohead and "Rome" by Phoenix.

"Nice Dream"

I've been telling everyone "I feel like I'm in a dream". I don't mean this in some cliche way as if I'm "living the dream", I mean that a dream-like state is the closest comparison I have to my experiences so far in Rome.

I've always loved the Radiohead song because its the best real depiction of a dream-like state. The verses of the song are a collection of whimsical thoughts of comfort. These build up to the chorus in which singer Thom Yorke repeats fervently the words "Nice Dream". This may be just me, but when I listen to this song, it feels very foreign. It's as if there's some strange world out there that could be a comforting home, but its unreachable.

The one sense every person gleans from a dream is that the dream is the only possible reality. Yesterday morning, I dreamt that I had missed my plane to Rome. When I woke, it took me a while to realize that I actually was in Rome. It would have been impossible for me to imagine or realize that while I was stuck in my dream.

So this is what I have to say from all this. Rome feels like a dream. It is foreign, but comforting and home-like, and sometimes it feels like there is no other reality. It feels like I've always lived in the eternal city and I had no other life before it.

"Rome"

In a really cheesy way, this song has been my anthem for the past couple months. Everytime I've listened to it, I've felt like I was focusing all my current goals to this one moment where I could "focus looking forward the colliseum" as the lyrics say. Now while I admit that much of the song is indecipherable and tough to relate to, there is one line that I absolutely love.

When the song breaks down into the quiet, intimate feeling bridge, singer Thomas Mars sings "1,000 years remain in a trashcan/ burn the cigarette somewhere".

I always felt like this was really radical imagery to use to describe the eternal city. But now that I am here, I realize how true it is. Rome is dirty - it really is. The streets are lined with cigarette butts, dog poop (although I think its more sanitary that Italians don't pick up their dogs' poop and less disgusting) and dirt.

But the city has real charm. It really feels like even the trash is old - as if the great civilizations before have conquered years of naturally human failure with even greater successes. All over the city, people put out cigarettes on ancient cobblestone streets framed in the great triumphs of civilization. And in a very unique way, it's a very beautiful thing.

Ciao!
Matt

Un Giorno Lungo

I should tell you about yesterday, if you can even call it yesterday. It was really a giant jumble of two days with 2 hours of sleep somewhere in the middle. I woke up at 10 A.M. on Monday the 25th and departed from America at 5:04 P.M. I arrived on schedule at about 1:30/ 7:30 A.M.

Then followed lots of luggage handling, a brief introduction to my apartment, and strategically getting lost around the neighborhood. I decided to take a power nap. When I got up I was convinced I had slept through the night and into the next day. I was sure I had slept for 30 hours straight. I even woke up my roommate to warn him of the day we missed.

Well, that turned out to be simply untrue. Instead of sleeping through the night, we ended up getting some dinner, going on a walking tour sponsored by the school, and then going out to Campo dei Fiori and other places in Rome with a friend of mine from home.

In short, il primo giorno was a success. I did much more than I anticipated and learned so, so much. I feel roughly acquainted with the bus and tram layout (or at least the ones near me) and I spoke more Italian than I have in any day of my life. And to think I had almost accepted the fact that I had slept through the whole day!

Ciao!
Matt

Expectations

I'm suffering from recurring cases of dejavu. It's making me sound like a broken record. I should explain.

Pretty much everyone I have talked to in the past month knows that I am leaving for Italy. Almost all of them want to talk to me about it, and those who don't use it as filler when they don't have anything better to say.

I have been asked the question "when are you leaving?" a gagillion (yeah, I'm that guy who always exaggerates) times over break. Sometimes I pause just to humor people. "Uhhh, hmm... I think it's January 24th - oh no, you know what? Its January 25th. Because now that I think of it, that's what I told the other 7 people who asked me this hour."

Lately, the most common question has been "so aren't you excited?!" In short, I am. This post is meant for the longer answer, which I have been trying to explain to people I actually care about.

But first - some background information.

Senior year of highschool I went to Milan, Venice and Florence with some of my family for my cousin's wedding. When I got back, I realized I wanted to live in Italy - not just travel. Since then I've been formulating my study abroad plans. It was never a question. I always knew I would study abroad in Italy. In fact, the only decision was "Milan or Rome?" (Apparently the answer was Rome.)

I've been excited for a long time. I've speculated, I've looked at pictures, I've been the guy who asks all the other people going abroad what they did. I like to imagine, extrapolate, and overthink everything until the point that every thought wraps back around on itself. (Similiar to when you start thinking about where the end of the universe is, but then start thinking that if there is an end, then what is outside of it? But then you just end up back where you started.)

So, I'm not giddy. I'm not nervous. I don't have butterflies in my stomache and I don't think I will on the plane either.

I don't think all my expectations, hopes and fears will meet reality until I'm walking on the streets of Rome. Until I'm surrounded by people speaking a language I only ever hear in movies. Until I'm touching those ancient structures you read about in history books and novels.

So next time someone asks me "aren't you excited?!", I'll just say "I'll let you know when I get there."

Ciao!
Matt